Should I Wait Until I Am 'Equipped'?

"God will equip you for what lies ahead."
I've heard this countless times, spoken over myself or others, prompting people to trust that they will be prepared for the next struggle, trial, or challenge that comes their way. It is spoken to remove any sense of being incapable, reassuring that God has and certainly will equip His people in each subsequent step. Here's the thing. Though yes, it is true that God works in us to equip us for the future, I have increasingly been questioning if we've misunderstood exactly how He goes about doing so.
Hear me out.
Have you ever faced an incredibly trying, painful, or testing situation? One that illuminates your limitations rather than speaking to your newfound strengths? I certainly have. And here is the contention point. If God, for instance, has already prepared us for the martial issues we are facing, then why does anger, frustration, and irritation flow out of our hearts instead of gentleness, joy, and forgiveness? If God has already prepared us for the health struggles we are facing, then why does a sense of hopelessness and fear take root in our souls instead of confidence and rest and peace? Feeling is not indicative of fact by any means, but if we truly reflect on the nature of our suffering, trials, and challenges, we would recognize that the sense of being "equipped" certainly is often missing. "I feel unprepared to move across the world, leaving my relationships and home to speak of the Gospel." "I am not ready to surrender such a large financial sacrifice." Or, as I recently testified, "I was not prepared for this car accident and all the horror that has come with it."
I've not written on this blog for over a month as I've wrestled with this question of being "equipped". I see other writers speaking to deeper needs; I've struggled with feeling under-prepared and overwhelmed in any writing ministry I could offer. I wonder how many of my readers can empathize with recognizing both a huge undertaking God has placed before them and their subsequent feeling of insufficiency.
I feel confident I am not alone in this battle, so certain I crafted this blog to dissect the question of sufficiency and preparedness.
I encountered this topic in Scripture a few weeks ago, and so it is in Exodus that we will begin. Before we dig into the passage, let's cover some context. Moses, a servant and messenger of God, has been told by God to tell the nation of Israel-who has been under bondage in slavery to the Egyptians for years- that they will be delivered into freedom, that God will do a great work of glory and release the chains that have shackled them to fear and burden and slavery, bringing them into hope and peace and rest. God would eventually part the Red Sea, making a way amidst the impossible for His children. God has told Moses that He has chosen him to speak this great message of hope and promise of deliverance to the people.
Imagine this for a moment. You live among the groanings and pangs of the people you love. You've seen them lose hope and heart, and surrender to the relentlessness of slavery and bondage. But then a great hope arises; they will be freed! Help is coming! Freedom awaits! And you get to tell them. You have the honour and privilege of lending your strength to begin the lifting of their burdens by communicating the promise of deliverance over them. How amazing would that be?!
Let's take a look at how Moses responds.
"Then Moses said to the LORD, 'O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.' So the LORD said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the LORD? Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.' But [Moses] said, 'O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.' So the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses." Exodus 4:10-14.
Like we often do, Moses acknowledges his weaknesses, admitting that he does not feel equipped. Specifically, Moses struggled with a speech impediment. Isn't this so interesting? God has tasked Moses specifically where he would need God; Moses struggled with speech and God asked him to speak before His people and tell them of following and trusting in God in a new way. Note also that Moses admits that his speech impediment was not lifted after encounter with God. I pose to you the suggestion that perhaps being equipped is firstly not about being healed or delivered from your weaknesses. Too often we are told that faith is equated with deliverance, but this side of eternity that is evidently not always so. Moses was a man that led the exodus of God's people (a HUGE undertaking), and yet God chose to refrain from delivering him from his limitations. God speaks to His power over ailments (verse 11), and yet refrains from abolishing them in Moses.
Why?
Perhaps it is not about feeling or even being equipped; perhaps that is contrary to the point. Perhaps the whole point is to be tasked in our weaknesses, that the glory would truly be unto God. God allows us to have limitations; He has wired us to need Him to carry out His calling on our lives.
What are the areas you feel unequipped, where your weaknesses convince you that He will not use you?
Could it be that this is exactly where He longs to work in and through you? Could it be that it is precisely in your weaknesses that He will work through you?
God's grace is powerful, and His mercies are anew every morning. But let's not forget that God was not pleased when Moses neglected His calling; He desired Moses to choose faith and courage and boldness rather than retracting in fear and cowardice and doubt, and He desires the same of you and I today.
Note also that God does not dispute Moses' impediment. Nor does He tell him to sit and think on or prepare for the task He has granted him. God also doesn't instruct Moses to seek further instruction and understanding, to seek out a 'learn the art of effective communicating' manual. No. He simply says go.
Go in the faith that God is in control. Go in the truth that He will provide what is needed. Go in the confidence that God is who He says He is and so at the end of the day chasing His face is all that is worth betting every insecurity, fear, and insufficiency on. Go in the trust that Jesus is already waiting there in victory. Go.
So maybe the process of becoming "equipped" is less about refining + growing a certain skill or capacity or gift, and more about the daily, moment-to-moment practice and discipline of faithful surrender. Yes, we are equipped for the greatest opposition, challenge, and task when we are in pursuit of the art of faithful surrender. This is why God can task us in our greatest weakness, and yet bear fruit that testifies of the fullness of His strength.
Surrender in faith today.
When we do, suddenly the most broken bits of our hearts and selves become the tapestries God writes His Name and power and glory all over. Walking within the glory of God is not necessarily about seeing a weakness overcome, it's about embracing the fullness and capability and sufficiency of God even in our brokenness. Perhaps it's about clinging to the hope that His sufficiency is not contingent on yours. So don't wait to be 'fixed'. Don't wait to feel whole. Don't hold out until your brokenness is a little more mended, a little more bearable, or a little more capable. What greater act of faith is there than stepping out in self-admitted insufficiency, recklessly casting it all into the hands of Jesus? That is the kind of faith that moves the mountains, shakes the world, and dips its toes into the sea before you see it's parting.
Acknowledge your need before Him, and then run with the sufficiency of His fullness. God tasks us in our weakness, that we would rest in the wholeness of His sufficiency.
So,
what do you say?
[say yes.]
One ineloquent soul to another,
Liv

Comments